| You've made your fortune but are short of class? | | | | events too. If the show has already opened read the |
| Whilst you cannot buy a blue-blooded background, | | | | reviews in the quality press to identify the aspects of |
| money can improve your image. You will have to | | | | which to approve! Observe the social round; in the UK |
| spend some money but do not do anything vulgar or | | | | that would mean joining the MCC and watching the |
| you will be seen as one of the plebs. Start by getting a | | | | cricket from the pavilion at Lord's, at the Isle of Wight |
| selection of society magazines to help you choose | | | | for Cowes Week and being in the Royal Enclosure at |
| what group you would like to join. Choose the image | | | | Ascot race-course. Become a strong supporter of a |
| you wish to model yourself on. Then select an image | | | | non-controversial cause that promotes itself through |
| consultant to help you and make them sign a | | | | high profile events. The deeper you dig in your pocket |
| confidentiality agreement before you begin. | | | | to support it, the grander you will seem. |
| This consultant will guide you in everything from | | | | Employ a public-relations consultant to get your |
| hairstyle to clothes and accessories. Observe and | | | | photograph into the society pages - he will advise you |
| copy the manners of the well bred. Taking an etiquette | | | | on the restaurants where you should be seen and |
| course will improve your manners and also help to give | | | | what sort of pets to have - thoroughbreds rather than |
| you the self confidence you need. Taking up | | | | mutts. Choose your holiday home with care - an |
| expensive pastimes such as racing (viewed from the | | | | expensive yacht in the Med will attract Russian |
| best enclosures), or a good yacht club will help you rub | | | | plutocrats and seedy European politicians but a |
| shoulders with those you wish to emulate. Joining an | | | | ramshackle mansion in Scotland with steaming |
| Art Society will educate you and at least help to | | | | Labradors on the hearthrug will be more popular with |
| pronounce the classic artists names properly. In Europe | | | | the 'old' aristocracy. Finally, review your old friends - do |
| van Gogh rhymes with 'cough' and the American 'go' | | | | not worry about discarding them as many will become |
| will identify you as 'not quite'. | | | | a source of embarrassment with their social gaffs and |
| Always buy the highest price tickets for the Opera | | | | terrible accents. |
| and Ballet so that you get invited to the 'exclusive' | | | | |