If Only . . .

She was about 30 years old. A pretty woman to me.have her smile. Even just a single time. I havea gift
She hadseveral lines of deep scars on her face that Iwhere I can make most people smile:-) In retrospect
assumed were theresult of severe injuries caused bythough, Ican only now imagine that she had a great
a car accident. Or worse, anattack. This disturbed me.smile.
I noticed her from my balcony within days of moving inBut I will never know. Because, as many times as I
to myhighrise, walking 2 little white dogs around thethought tomake this overture, never once did I act
block. She wasalways alone, always with a look ofupon it. And being that Ihave been blessed to have
deep sadness on her face.been in a position many times in my lifeto have 'been
I must have ran into her at least twenty times duringthere' for people who were depressed, and
my year-and-a-quarter of living here, on the elevator orevensuicidal, I again, did NOT ACT UPON IT.
on the grounds of ourbuilding, each time trying toGuilty? Yes, I am.
engage her in conversation - about theweather, herOf course, I cannot afford to even begin to blame
dogs, anything to try to get her to at least, smile.myself, a totalstranger to her, for what she felt she
Never once did she smile though, or answer me withultimately had no choice to do.
more than acouple of words. After each attempt, I justOn the other hand, I could have chosen to do
left her with my smile,and let it go.something, and actupon my desire to at least try to
Like you I'm sure, I have been face-to-face with peoplehelp.
that havebeen deeply depressed. In my heart ofThe obvious questions arise. Would she have
hearts, I knew she was.accepted myinvitation to a coffee shop, or for a walk
Without knowing anything about her, I could onlydown the trail? If she did,could I have made even a
surmise thatwhatever had happened in her life tosmall difference in her life and actuallysee her smile --
cause this disfigurement wasthe reason. Perhapsat least once? That, would have been wonderful tome.
shallow of me, but I couldn't even imaginelooking in theOr, could I have made even a small impact that would
mirror each day to see such hideoushaveultimately led to, well, her deciding NOT swallow
physicaldevastation.the overdose ofmedicine that she did?
On Monday of last week, I proceeded out the mainThing is, I will never know, because I chose NOT TO
doors of mybuilding to go on my morning walk. IACT. Toobusy, of course. Too many other things
noticed 2 police cars and aforensics van in the visitorsgoing on in my personallife. Too many other things
parking lot. My mind began to wonderas to what thisgoing on in the lives I was close to. Toobusy in my
could possibly have been about. I concludedbusiness life.
thatperhaps an elderly tenant had passed away, andIf I can take away one lesson with me from this dark
promptly forgotabout it.experience, itis the one I wish to share with you --
On the following Friday, I discovered the truth. I sawwhen your intuition tells you todo something not only
one of thebuilding managers who had just returnedonce, but many times, ACT UPON IT. Yourintuition is
from a funeral - the funeralof this young woman.your biggest friend, whether you know it now, or not.
She had done what was unperceivable to me - sheIt honestly hurts to know that I did nothing to follow up
took her ownlife.on my ownintuition in this sad, sad case. It is even
I was shaken. I learned in that conversation that hersadder to know that I nevereven knew the name of
scars were theresult of surgery, for cancer. I becamethis pretty woman.
deeply disturbed.I dislike, and try to hardly ever use, the word, "if". It is
Truth is, I had thought so many times that I should inviteusually usedin context with a negative circumstance. In
thiswoman for a coffee, or for a walk in the sculpturethis case though, I cannow only wonder would have
park below of ourbuilding. Something where somehappened, "If Only . . .
friendly conversation could 'breakthe ice' and hopefully