| She was about 30 years old. A pretty woman to me. | | | | have her smile. Even just a single time. I havea gift |
| She hadseveral lines of deep scars on her face that I | | | | where I can make most people smile:-) In retrospect |
| assumed were theresult of severe injuries caused by | | | | though, Ican only now imagine that she had a great |
| a car accident. Or worse, anattack. This disturbed me. | | | | smile. |
| I noticed her from my balcony within days of moving in | | | | But I will never know. Because, as many times as I |
| to myhighrise, walking 2 little white dogs around the | | | | thought tomake this overture, never once did I act |
| block. She wasalways alone, always with a look of | | | | upon it. And being that Ihave been blessed to have |
| deep sadness on her face. | | | | been in a position many times in my lifeto have 'been |
| I must have ran into her at least twenty times during | | | | there' for people who were depressed, and |
| my year-and-a-quarter of living here, on the elevator or | | | | evensuicidal, I again, did NOT ACT UPON IT. |
| on the grounds of ourbuilding, each time trying to | | | | Guilty? Yes, I am. |
| engage her in conversation - about theweather, her | | | | Of course, I cannot afford to even begin to blame |
| dogs, anything to try to get her to at least, smile. | | | | myself, a totalstranger to her, for what she felt she |
| Never once did she smile though, or answer me with | | | | ultimately had no choice to do. |
| more than acouple of words. After each attempt, I just | | | | On the other hand, I could have chosen to do |
| left her with my smile,and let it go. | | | | something, and actupon my desire to at least try to |
| Like you I'm sure, I have been face-to-face with people | | | | help. |
| that havebeen deeply depressed. In my heart of | | | | The obvious questions arise. Would she have |
| hearts, I knew she was. | | | | accepted myinvitation to a coffee shop, or for a walk |
| Without knowing anything about her, I could only | | | | down the trail? If she did,could I have made even a |
| surmise thatwhatever had happened in her life to | | | | small difference in her life and actuallysee her smile -- |
| cause this disfigurement wasthe reason. Perhaps | | | | at least once? That, would have been wonderful tome. |
| shallow of me, but I couldn't even imaginelooking in the | | | | Or, could I have made even a small impact that would |
| mirror each day to see such hideous | | | | haveultimately led to, well, her deciding NOT swallow |
| physicaldevastation. | | | | the overdose ofmedicine that she did? |
| On Monday of last week, I proceeded out the main | | | | Thing is, I will never know, because I chose NOT TO |
| doors of mybuilding to go on my morning walk. I | | | | ACT. Toobusy, of course. Too many other things |
| noticed 2 police cars and aforensics van in the visitors | | | | going on in my personallife. Too many other things |
| parking lot. My mind began to wonderas to what this | | | | going on in the lives I was close to. Toobusy in my |
| could possibly have been about. I concluded | | | | business life. |
| thatperhaps an elderly tenant had passed away, and | | | | If I can take away one lesson with me from this dark |
| promptly forgotabout it. | | | | experience, itis the one I wish to share with you -- |
| On the following Friday, I discovered the truth. I saw | | | | when your intuition tells you todo something not only |
| one of thebuilding managers who had just returned | | | | once, but many times, ACT UPON IT. Yourintuition is |
| from a funeral - the funeralof this young woman. | | | | your biggest friend, whether you know it now, or not. |
| She had done what was unperceivable to me - she | | | | It honestly hurts to know that I did nothing to follow up |
| took her ownlife. | | | | on my ownintuition in this sad, sad case. It is even |
| I was shaken. I learned in that conversation that her | | | | sadder to know that I nevereven knew the name of |
| scars were theresult of surgery, for cancer. I became | | | | this pretty woman. |
| deeply disturbed. | | | | I dislike, and try to hardly ever use, the word, "if". It is |
| Truth is, I had thought so many times that I should invite | | | | usually usedin context with a negative circumstance. In |
| thiswoman for a coffee, or for a walk in the sculpture | | | | this case though, I cannow only wonder would have |
| park below of ourbuilding. Something where some | | | | happened, "If Only . . . |
| friendly conversation could 'breakthe ice' and hopefully | | | | |